Space Weasel, BELCH! a Comedy Sci Fi Short Story

This story is like warm pepperoni pizza. Minimum-wage-working-hands make this pie when Pauly Shore and Joey Gladstone are doin' some cloud watchin' together. Those two (pssh) so silly sometimes. That lazy man's sport goes wrong when a huge flyin' saucer comes down and steals Joey away. Pauly then is left alone; but fiction gets thrown in the pizza oven when he encounters Natalie Portman. Yeah, Natalie Portman; that super Saiyan sexy celebrity. Natalie says she's been tracking that Space Weasel and knows where his friend was taken. So, that's where things get all melt-y cheesy and put on a plate for you to eat. The two set out to track that darn star varmint and get Pauly his cloud watchin' friend back!

Sample dis snug story...

Cloud Me
“That one looks like a pumpkin.”
“You’re crazy. That’s Skeletor’s face!”
“Ha! Okay, maybe, but look at that one; what do you see?” Joey Gladstone asked his best friend, Pauly Shore.
The two laid on a big ‘ol soft picnic blanket and starred at dat big blue sky. It was a lazy Monday morning and cloud watching was on their agenda- all day!
Pauly looked over its contours and said, “A space ship.”
“Yeah, that’s what I was thinking,” Joey said.
The clouds rolled and revealed steel.
“Holy shit!” Pauly said.
He and Joey scrambled to their feet as the giant carbon, clockwork beast came at them.
“HELP!” Joey shouted.
Pauly looked back to see his longtime friend and buddy, pulled up by some yeller light.
Joey was doing some dem Karate Kid type moves all shouting, help me ‘n shit. “Hi-YA CHA Take dat!”
Pauly, well, he didn’t know what ta do. How could he? Some alien ship was taking off with his friend there.
So, he ran at dat yeller beam. “Give me my friend,” he shouted, but-
BAM! Dat ship went ‘n disappeared.
Sadness found ‘ol Pauly. Dat comedian had never been so sad. My best friend’s gone. Who knows what will happen to him. They may probe him or kill him?
“We can get him back,” a voice said.
Pauly turned and perked up he did at what he saw.
Natalie Portman stood there.

End Sample

ABOUT BRIDGET:

"Need money for booze ‘n drugs; dayum b&tches ain’t cheap, ya’ hear?
Whole Milk needz his self ta’ finance ‘a hot tub ‘n sh&t." -Bridget Chase-