HBOTYT- A Short Story About Kristen Stewart's Tits

My Boner is ready; what kinda book is this?

We have two teen boys. Both alike in dignity. With desires; desires of the heart- no, nutts... their desires were in their nutts. Together night after night they watch the same movie and jerked meat to Kristen Stewart topless; (We all know how that goes when the local video store is out of Beverly Hills Cop lll) except this night... THIS NIGHT! Them boys do some kind of John Hughes thang and ride an eighties computer right inta' that gawd damn movie. Now, these boys want to touch and see them wicked titties in real life. However, problems arise because this is fiction 'n sh*t. Problems like a story whom can be compared to a donkey with no tail- 'There! There is the young lad with the tail. Will he pin it on me? I don't know;' and either do you. Come along and join these two teenage mutant middle aged boys, along with Tom Hanks Hamburger Face Suited Salesman for a non stop adventure where things happen and mostly things about Kristen Stewart's sweet tits!

Wet My Dick with a Sample, BITCH!

Escape

Sir Giggles approached the dungeon cell. The hot load of loogies in his balls led him.

He peered between the cell’s bars and looked at the girl within.

Yes, she is such a pretty one. Makes my job worth it. Hell, a nice change from all the men that usually come through. The stubble around their mouths makes it hard to cum. But this pretty one; well, it’s hard to keep from cumming too quickly!

The girl sat on a dingy bed. She starred at him.

He’s back shit fuck. I-

I can’t,

I can’t feel that thin dick prod me again-

Not again!

Sir Giggles smiled with a wide grin. His thin lips peeled back revealing yellowed teeth. His blonde hair was in a bowl cut with wispy bangs fit for a four-year-old girl.

“And, how are you today?” Sir Giggles asked, “Is your puss ready for’ poundin’?” He laughed with his signature girlish giggle.

“Please; not today.” Not ever again, the girl prayed.

Sir Giggles reached a hand and adjusted his dick through the front of his pants. Arrh, it’s getting’ hard already. This girl gets me shootin’ Spidey’s webbing in no time!

“Well,” he said, “Protest as you may;

you only make it more fun.

And,

if you think playing dead ruins it.

It does not.

I love that too.”

He grinned with wicked intent.

Sir Giggles pulled his key out and unlatched the cell door.

Heavy breaths of anxiety came alive in the girl’s chest.

Sir Giggles walked over to the bed and climbed on top of her. He was ready-

Ready to get a nut off in that tight puss.



“Pause it! My gawd, that bastard!” Gary said.

Wyatt thumbed the pause button on the remote and asked, “What’s up? We don’t see her tits for another few seconds. Look, it’s just Sir Giggles’ ass- Gross.”

Gary, a lanky teen with swash buckling hair played by a middle-aged Russel Crowe, said, “I wish we were there. I’d save Kristen Stewart from that pervert. I bet if I chopped his head off she would be my girl friend’n shit.

I just know it.

Then-

we could go park

at look out point

where she’d touch my dick some

and I could finger bang her- Hot babe! Oh,

And take her to prom where we could make out and she’d rub her ass on my crotch while we danced.

Only to later bang- Hot Babe! in the shower at a motel.”

Wyatt, a nerdy teen played by a very old Danny Devito, took a drink of his hot chocolate. “Yeah, it’d be super awesome to be a hero, but

are we just going to sit here and talk?

I came over to jerk off to Kristen Stewart’s tits.”

The two middle aged teen men sat next to each other in office chairs in front of Gary’s computer in his bedroom.

Both wore t-shirts and nothing else.

Each held their dick in their hand.

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HBOTYT was written by Bridget Chase, Bubba Love Smash and Natalie Hotdayum while aboard the international cruise ship Phillip K. Deck. The three authors, while staying on the lovely coast of Peru, went to Best Buy every morning and worked on writing this story while consuming many cups of coffee. Scholars speculate that the 'coffee' they were drinking was a devastatingly powerful mix of caffeine, whiskey and bath salts. A brew known to enhance a human's artistic abilities to the likes of which Jesus himself would become envious; as stated in Cambridge Universities studies on the Elixir. The researchers wrote, 'Beverages such as this must, MUST be made illegal because it is Right (our right) to control people Our team considered burning every page that even references our findings. No human should consume this mix, less humanity be ruined and an ultra-utopia stricken our beloved land.'
A cassette tape found in Bridget's apartment reveals much about the amazing talents which the elixir delivers. One of the many entries Bridget made in his audio journal, give us insight into this artistic genius; as follows-
Bridget Chase: The World is tits- I wanna touch some tits!
Natalie Hotdayum: I have tits, am I the World?
Bridget Chase: Lemme see...
Natalie Hotdayum: (Silence) *noises- fabric*
Bridget Chase: Yes, yes your boobies are the world. I have the whole world in my hands. i have the whole wide world in my hands. I have the whole world in my hands.
*Door Opening*
Bubba Love Smash: Hey, you said you'd wait for me to get back.
Bridget Chase: Sorry
Natalie Hotdayum: yeah, sorry. Why don't you come feel.
Bubba Love Smash: Bridget, catch!
Bridget Chase: Sweet, Twinkies! Might as well finish off the week with the same breakfast we've had everyday. Oh, and I discovered that the meaning of life is about touchin' some titties.
Bubba Love Smash: I'm about to jerk my meat on them Meanings!
Natalie Hotdayum: Let me put my hair up. I already showered.
Bridget Chase: Yep, I'm glad I didn't jump off the Golden Gate Bridge.
We are lucky to have records such as these; so that future artists will know what true greatness looks like. The three not only wrote HBOTYT during their vacation together but also helped a Best Buy team member land a date with his high school sweet heart. it was a touching act of humanity as the Team member was no longer in high school. But, Bubba Love Smash in an interview on Dateline did say that the boy was successful in banging his high school crush on her prom night. So the world can thank them for that. He didn't use a condom- it felt real good.

HBOTYT: Huntsman Boobs or Tits, Yes Tits

written by

Bridget Chase

"HEY, BUY MY SHIT; WHITE BREAD NEEDZ'TA FINANCE A HOT TUB; DAYUM, BITCHES AIN'T CHEAP, YA HEAR? NEED MONEY FOR BOOZE'N DRUGS." -Bridget Chase 1944-

Bubba Love Smash

"Piloting a Spaceship is like unlatching a bra with one hand; you gotta know the equipment. Plus, planets remind me of boobs. Hey, I write shit- buy it; I want to go to Mars and photograph Alien titties!" -Bubba Love Smash 1973-

Natalie Hotdayum

"I SAW THE FUTURE OF ENTERTAINMENT. ONE WHERE ACTORS WERE NOT WHAT THEY SEEMED BUT IMAGES MAPPED OVER BODIES. CELEBRITIES OF THE TWENTY FIRST CENTURY WERE VIEWED AS MERE COURT JESTERS- BECOMING JOKES AND PARODIES OF WHAT THEY ONCE STOOD FOR. BRASH SATIRES WERE MADE- MOCKING AND REWRITING THE RIDICULOUS CULT OF THE CELEBRITY THAT ONCE WAS HOLLYWOOD...' -NATALIE HOTDAYUM 1941-